Why Saying No Visitors After Birth Is The Best Choice (And How to Do It)

Restricting visitors was hands-down the best decision I made in postpartum, and I’m going to do it again with my next children.

Still, setting those boundaries seemed difficult each time I thought about it, so I want to be more prepared this next time. And I bet you do, too.

Setting boundaries around visitors after baby isn’t as scary when you have a plan. 

In this post, we will go over the reasons why you might not want visitors in postpartum, how to tell visitors no, and what boundaries you should set with visitors ahead of time.

Copy-and-Paste Scripts to Tell Visitors “Heck No!” After Birth

Never doubt yourself again with these done-for-you scripts to set visitor boundaries. Write them down, read off the paper, or memorize them to tell visitors “Nope!”

Who visits after you have a baby?

After you have your sweet baby, people are obviously going to want to meet them — and hopefully check in on you, too. These people could include your parents or grandparents, the in-laws, siblings of you or your partner, invested aunts and uncles, friends, or anyone else you are close to.

The best part is: you can decide who visits you. We’ll touch on how you can decide this later in this post.

Should you have visitors after giving birth?

Having visitors is up to you and your comfortability. Early postpartum can be a vulnerable time for new parents. You’re learning how to care for a new person or change tiny meconium diapers, how to breastfeed, as well as how to care for yourself and your own physical recovery.

Depending on how your birth experience was, you might be processing your birth and dealing with early signs of postpartum PTSD, postpartum depression, or postpartum anxiety.

Or you might be over-the-moon to show off your baby boy or girl in person.

Some parents also worry about sicknesses traveling to their newborn baby. They might impose a no visitors rule until baby is older, request that no one kisses the baby and all wash their hands before holding the baby, or ask that anyone who comes be fully vaccinated to help protect the newborn.

In addition to these reasons, new parents might have their own reasons for not having visitors:

  • Spending quality time with their baby
  • Learning about and bonding with baby before others come over
  • Relaxing versus feeling the urge to host people
  • Being an introvert and needing time and space to prepare
  • Receiving privacy during this vulnerable time
  • Only having visitors because you feel obligated to

Deciding to let people visit a newborn is a personal choice that needs to take into consideration the needs of you and your family. There’s no right or wrong way.

Setting boundaries with visitors after baby

Is it okay to not have visitors after baby?

Absolutely, it is okay to not have visitors! There is no right or wrong decision in choosing whether to have people over after giving birth or not.

In some ways, not having visitors can have positive benefits for new parents and their infants. This might include:

  • Time and space to process the mood shifts that come with birth, early postpartum, and this significant change in life
  • Ability to cry and process your feelings without worrying about people
  • The opportunity to learn to breastfeed and basically be naked on your couch at all hours of the day
  • Ample amount of skin to skin time for new parents and their babies
  • Preventing extra germs from coming into the house
  • Being able to rest or sleep all day long if you would like to (and you might need to)
  • Avoiding the extra stress that comes with having people in your house or around your family

How to say no to visitors after birth

Saying no to visitors can feel intimidating at first, but there’s a few ways to boost your confidence to do so.

1. Post it on social media

Writing a Facebook post detailing that your not having visitors or that people need to wait until YOU invite them can be a great way to reach your friends and family without anyone feeling like they are being specifically put on the spot.

There’s quite a few templates on Pinterest or Google images if this is your choice.

2. Assign someone to be the boundary-enforcer

Whether that’s your mom, your partner, or a close friend, the boundary-enforcer should be someone who can stand tall and tell people they aren’t allowed to visit. 

You can even use this person as the middle man. Anyone who wants to visit you, find out your hospital room number, or schedule a time to swing by the house needs to go through this boundary-enforcer. It’s almost like they’re your personal assistant during this time. Then, they tell others “yes” or “no” to visiting, and you don’t have to worry about it.

3. Don’t tell anyone when you have baby!

Don’t text anyone that you’re in labor or post it on social media. Then they won’t even know they can visit baby outside of your womb!

4. Use these 8 scripts to say heck no to visitors

If you need the exact words to say when restricting visitors in postpartum, grab these 8 free scripts! Copy and paste them into a text message or memorize them to set those boundaries for yourself and your family.

8 Ways to Confidently Say “Heck No” To Visitors After Birth

when should you have visitors after birth
no visitors after birth sign

What if you want certain visitors?

Just as it is okay to say no to visitors completely, it’s also okay to limit who comes over and when they do.

We will touch on setting boundaries with people visiting after birth in the next section, but what if you only want certain people to come?

These people might be your mom, your mother-in-law, your closest friends, your siblings, or anyone else you feel safe enough to be vulnerable with (and naked).

However, there’s one rule you need to follow when deciding you want certain people to visit.

Visitors should be people that are actually going to help you

I would argue that anyone who visits a newborn baby should be someone who is actually going to help the new parents out no matter what. That being said, this rule is especially important if you are restricting guests to certain people.

Choose to invite people who are willing to load and run the dishwasher, fold the never-ending laundry piles, walk the dog, hold the baby while you shower, or shove your nipple in your screaming infant’s mouth (like my sweet 75 year old grandma did).

There’s no limit to the potential tasks a person might need to help you with after birth. So pick those people who are willing to scrub your floor on their hands and knees and go from there!

We go over more about this rule and how to set boundaries with it in the Postpartum Support System. The ebook covers over 37+ people you should have on your side after baby comes. Decide who is visiting and who is a part of your support team, then write everyone’s name and contact information on the template provided. Post it on your fridge for easy access — and so you remember with your mom brain and sleep deprivation!

support for sharing invisible load

There’s even a bonus “How Can I Help” chart to help direct visitors!

how can visitors help you after birth

How do you handle visitors after having a baby?

Handling visitors after birth requires setting boundaries.

It’s important to remember that you can change these boundaries at any time.

If you say you want visitors while you’re pregnant and then experience a traumatic birth or decide you want more alone time with baby, it is okay to change to not wanting visitors. 

This goes the other way, too, if you suddenly decide you need visitors in postpartum instead of waiting.

Your needs might change from pregnancy to birth to postpartum, and so can your boundaries with visitors.

Setting boundaries with visitors after baby

  • Give people an exact time frame of when they can visit
  • Set “visiting hours”: Choose a few hours during the day that people can stop by.
  • Have a list of things they can help with when the visit: This “How Can I Help” chart from the Postpartum Support System is a great way to do this!
  • Be firm and clear about the rules: Let people know exactly when they need to leave, what they can expect, what they can do while they are there, what they can’t do (ex. kissing baby), how they need to not come if they are sick.
  • Don’t feel the need to “host” them or clean for them
  • Inform them you will be breastfeeding baby whether they are in the room or not

When should people visit a new baby?

Any time you feel comfortable with it is when people should visit a new baby. Whether that’s:

  • Being in the delivery room with you
  • Visiting after skin to skin time and checkups
  • Coming after baby is 24 hours old
  • Helping out once you are discharged from the house
  • After baby turns 2 weeks old
  • When baby receives their first vaccines at 2 months old

Any choice is valid as long as it is what’s best for YOU.

How do you politely decline hospital visitors?

Hospital vs at home visitors

Something to keep in mind is the difference between having people visit baby in the hospital versus when you go home. You might have different boundaries for each place. Some visitors might need to wait until you are settled at home while you choose to have a handful visit in the hospital.

How soon can you have visitors after having a baby?

You can have visitors in the delivery room with you if you want. Some new moms prefer their moms are in the room, too. Others tell people they can start visiting 2 or 3 hours after birth so they have that skin to skin time to bond with baby.

Some moms say people can’t visit for the next 2 to 4 weeks. There’s no right answer. Only what feels best to you!

Don’t forget to grab the Postpartum Support System to help you create a visitor plan and find support during this time!

visitors that help in postpartum

Did you control your visitors after delivery? Share with us in the comments below!

postpartum brain

How long to wait to have people visit after giving birth

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

WordPress › Error

There has been a critical error on this website.

Learn more about troubleshooting WordPress.